Police Officer: Turn around. Suspect: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you’re never coming round. Police Officer: TURN AROUND! Suspect: Every now an- *Gets tased*

I am tired of the lies and the deceit I am tired of all the broken promises You not only manipulated me, but my friends too People tolerate bad relationships For far too long, purely out of habit, But this cruelty has to come to an end I have had enough of your pernicious ways …

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A local business was looking for office help and put up sign stating the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. …

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